Popular Facebook group Upper East Side mum’s demands for entry


One mum thought they were “joking” about the necessary documentation but moderators have defended the strict rules.

It’s the mother of all entry requirements.

A moderator of a popular Upper East Side moms’ group on Facebook is so fixated on making sure only those with children, or expectant mothers, join the forum, that she is demanding documentation from prospective members — including sonograms from pregnant women, reported the New York Post.

“You’re joking about asking women for their pregnancy scans, right?” one former group member recently asked Tiffany Ma, one of three moderators of the UES Mommas page.

“Nope,” she responded, according to the exchange seen by The Post. “It’s the only way we can know they are pregnant.”

When the former member suggested that the request might be upsetting to those who have miscarried or are going through surrogacy or adoption, Ma said in the exchange “that’s exactly the point. They aren’t allowed in.”

“If they are going through surrogacy, they can provide the legal documents,” she noted.

But the newly pregnant or those at the start of the adoption or surrogacy process aren’t welcome to the club of 40,000 members who discuss issues like strollers and schools.

“We require a heartbeat to [be] let in,” Ma wrote in the exchange.

A foetal heartbeat can usually be detected around six weeks of pregnancy.

Members are also being asked to vet their friends for evidence of motherhood and pregnancy, the former member said, noting she had been asked three times to do so.

She said the demands, particularly for legal documents, seemed off base.

“I have relied on this group so tremendously as a resource for my two kids,” said the woman who was removed from the group after the exchange with Ma. “It doesn’t have to be like this.”

Ma — who became a moderator last year after racism allegations roiled the group — said in an interview with The Post that she needed to impose standards to keep out nannies, people who just wanted to sell products, or those who might infringe on members’ privacy.

“They come and they are dangerous to the group. Dangerous to the privacy of other people,” she said.

She said evidence-seeking was done on a “case-by-case” basis, particularly if a Facebook profile did not show any sign of kids or a baby bump. She said documentation could include a scan or discharge papers from an obstetrician’s visit.

Those who don’t want to share private information that may be in adoption or surrogacy papers, don’t have to join, she said.

“Being in this group is not a public right,” she said. “Nobody has to come to the group.”

The rules are not clearly posted anywhere on the forum, which prohibits discussions on vaccines and “contentious debates or divisive topics.” The whole group was temporarily put on ice in 2017 when debate raged over the children’s book “P is for Palestine.”

The group’s other two moderators did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

Ma, an employment lawyer, once got in hot water herself over a legal filing that brought up a defendant’s Jewish faith. A federal judge said Ma’s irrelevant references to the man’s identity were “outrageous,” but he would “reluctantly” not grant a request for sanctions against her because she agreed to withdraw the offending part of the filing, court records show.

“Ma is admonished that if she persists in this type of conduct, she will be subject to sanctions, including, but not limited to, monetary penalties,” Judge J. Paul Oetken said in the 2015 case.

Ma said she would not comment on the legal dust-up.

This story originally appeared on the New York Post and is reproduced here with permission

Originally published as Popular mums Facebook group’s demands for entry

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